Saturday, December 19, 2015

Yes, We're Having Twins. Here's What You Can Do:

You've probably seen the cute announcement Kam put together. Yes, we're having twins. And we're super excited about it! But it's all a little more complicated than that. So here's what you can do to help us as we navigate the next seven months and beyond.
  • Do pray for us. One of the main reasons we're announcing so early is to ask everyone for their prayers and good thoughts. We are doing everything we can to keep these babies safe and healthy, but so much of it is out of our hands. We believe that faith will be the strongest power in bringing our babies to us, and also the strongest healing from whatever challenges lie ahead.
  • Do understand where we're at. As of Wednesday I am seven weeks along. That is still very early, but this pregnancy has shown to be healthier than either of my last two pregnancies. We have seen healthy heartbeats for both of the twins and they are both measuring on schedule. I am seeing a great team of doctors and have many appointments ahead to keep close eye on them. I am also taking medications for a few conditions I was diagnosed with before this pregnancy began. The twins appear to be mo/di, which is common in identical twin pregnancies, but presents some unique risks. But that's what our team of doctors is there to look out for. We're definitely not going to be out of the woods for a very long time, but all signs point to good things right now.
  • Don't judge our display of emotions. We are incredibly excited, but we may not always show it. Kam once explained to someone how every morning we wake up and decide to be excited instead of scared. And then the next morning we have to decide the whole thing over again. The fear never goes away one hundred percent, but we are trying our best to stay positive and expect good things to come.
  • Don't forget Liam. Having the twins to focus on has really lightened the load of my grief in a lot of ways, especially in regards to my infertility. And deciding to be optimistic each morning has helped me have a more positive perspective in other areas of my life as well. All of this means that it's a lot easier to focus on the blessings Liam has brought to our lives, even in the midst of missing him. I sometimes have to remind myself that it's okay to not always feel sad about him. He can still be a happy part of our family. Please remember that he will always be our first, and we will always include him in our family. It is crazy whenever I look at our stockings and realize we're already a family of five! It is comforting to have Liam looking out for his brothers or sisters from the other side of the veil, and I am sure he will play a very real role in their lives.
  • Don't suggest our losses were a means to an end. It's easy to imagine that with the miraculous news of our twins on the way that all the pain we've been through must have been designed to get us here. Sometimes I've even thought this myself. But that thinking reduces Liam's life and invalidates the pain we still sometimes feel from this difficult year. While I may even express these same sentiments sometimes, when they come from someone else it can come across preachy and insensitive, especially if I'm not sharing those feelings at the time. Please allow us to figure out what the purposes of the challenges in our life are on our own and support us as we do. When in doubt, I've always liked this quote from Doctor Who (Yes, I'm a nerd.), "The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."
  • Do get excited about what a miracle this is! Just so you understand what an incredible surprise these twins are, let me explain how they came to be. We have no idea! I am working with a fertility clinic and taking a lot of medications, but none were meant to increase my chance of having fraternal twins and fraternal twins don't run in my family. That said, we're not even having fraternal twins! Identical twins are still a mystery and science hasn't been able to pin them down to genetics or any specific environmental factor. Only three in 1000 pregnancies turn out to be identical twins. So we are indeed feeling pretty lucky right now. I'm starting to wonder whether statistics really apply to us at all.
Now that you've read this far, let me reward you with a picture of our two little blueberries!

We really appreciate everyone's love and support, and we're excited to see what the new year has in store!