Unknown

Today I had an interview with a company I would really like to work for. I already wanted to work for them before the interview, but I thought, "If it doesn't work out. That's alright. Maybe it's not the right place for me." But after coming out of that interview, I was actually more nervous than when I went in because I just loved the culture and the work I would be doing, and I actually enjoyed my interview.

It was a long drive back, so I was thinking about all of these things and how I really hope I get a second interview, and suddenly a strange feeling of reality hit me. I'm not sure what caused it, but I could just see myself a year or so from now looking back on that moment--me driving down the highway unsure of what would happen. And I thought, "I'm either going to look back on this fondly, and think, 'That was the beginning, and I had no idea I would actually end up working with them and doing all these great things. That was the moment it started, and I first thought this might actually happen.' or I'm going to look back and think, "I was so worried about getting that job, and I had no idea I would be doing this instead. It was so silly for me to have worried, since it's all worked out now.'" I would love to think either of those things a year from now. In fact, I'm not even sure which I would prefer. In the reality is, I probably will think one of those things a year from now when something reminds me, "Oh, this is just like that time you were worried about getting that job you really wanted, and look what came out of that." Because the chances that my entire life depends on whether or not I get that job are slim to none. And I would bet a lot of candy bars that the next year doesn't depend on that specific job either.

Of course, if I'd never had another experience dealing with the unknown, it wouldn't be so easy to dismiss my worries. Luckily, I have. One year, one month, and one week ago I went on a date with an amazing man, and I thought to myself, "I really enjoyed that date. I don't want to pass up an opportunity with this guy. I'm afraid to admit that I hope this turns into something, but I do. I hope he likes me." It took a lot of self-control to focus on "wait-and-see." But it's been a year, and now I look back on those thoughts sentimentally and say to myself, "I had no idea." Isn't that cool? I had no idea! And here I am, married to that impressive first date. Wow. What an awesome surprise.

He's not the first guy I hoped liked me. I'm pretty sure that guy was someone back in elementary school. But now I look back on each of those moments when I wondered, "Does he like me? Is he going to ask me out? What's going to happen?" And I know I didn't miss out. In fact, those moments just make me appreciate what I have even more. So why would it be different the next time I don't know what's going to happen?

I know my Heavenly Father has a plan for me, and that His plan makes me happy. I'm glad He doesn't always do what I ask. He knows a lot better. I know He loves me, and I love Him. And I'm glad He likes surprises, because I like them, too. How boring this would all be without them.