But really, this post deserves to be written.
I am amazed at what my Heavenly Father has done for me in the past year. Understatement of the year. But seriously, I feel like if you could look down on me in a petri dish a year ago and write out hypotheses about the path I would take ceteris paribus (that means "all else equal;" Hoo hoo! Fancy word!) it would be like... well, it would be really far away from where I am now, but it would be really obvious, and this petri dish analogy isn't working anymore because petri dishes are small and bacteria grow in them. Maybe rats in mazes would be a better analogy, but I don't like rats.
Point is! I was going down my little road like nobody's business, and all on my own, you know, maybe I'd be alright. But then Heavenly Father dropped a boulder on my path! (A well-chiseled boulder. Ha ha. Does anyone get it?) And occasionally in the past I've felt like, "What the heck? That was my path! You can't just put a boulder in my path!" But, ohhoho, He can. Because... and...
I suck at analogies.
I love Kam. That's what I'm really getting at. And I'm really glad he's going to be my husband. Actually, glad is like, a super lame word. I'm... mind-blown that he's going to be my husband. Whoohoo! And I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for knowing better than me what I want and need. One last metaphor, because I don't know how else to say this. I feel like I'm on an entirely different plane than I was before. Like, my path before was good and fine. But it doesn't even compare. Heavenly Father picked me up out of where I felt comfortable and put me in a place I never would have found on my own.
As if that wasn't already enough. I whined and worried, and He guided me anyway. I took my gifts for granted, and He continued to bless me anyway. I pridefully doubted His plan, and He comforted me anyway. And even at times like right now when I think I'm starting to understand how much He's done for me, I know I'm actually just seeing a glimpse of it.
But probably the coolest thing about this whole experience so far is that I can want something soooo much, and my Heavenly Father wants me to have it just as much! How awesome is that? I can remember so many instances where I've felt nervous or scared about something that I really wanted and realized that probably means it's not good for me. But whenever I get nervous or scared about marrying Kam (It happens. Eternity is a long time, even to spend with the most awesome person I've ever known.), all I have to do is take those fears to the Lord and He dispels them. And I know it's right. And then I just feel so excited, and I feel like He's excited for me, too. And it makes me want to party.
So it's a good thing we're having a wedding! Because after this post I just want to dance!
As if that wasn't already enough. I whined and worried, and He guided me anyway. I took my gifts for granted, and He continued to bless me anyway. I pridefully doubted His plan, and He comforted me anyway. And even at times like right now when I think I'm starting to understand how much He's done for me, I know I'm actually just seeing a glimpse of it.
But probably the coolest thing about this whole experience so far is that I can want something soooo much, and my Heavenly Father wants me to have it just as much! How awesome is that? I can remember so many instances where I've felt nervous or scared about something that I really wanted and realized that probably means it's not good for me. But whenever I get nervous or scared about marrying Kam (It happens. Eternity is a long time, even to spend with the most awesome person I've ever known.), all I have to do is take those fears to the Lord and He dispels them. And I know it's right. And then I just feel so excited, and I feel like He's excited for me, too. And it makes me want to party.
So it's a good thing we're having a wedding! Because after this post I just want to dance!
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