Reasons

Reasons Why I'm Afraid to Get Pregnant Again

1. Losing another baby.
2. Feeling like I'm replacing Liam.
3. Other people assuming I'm okay now that I'm pregnant again, or once I have a living baby.
4. Taking care of a baby while grieving my first baby.
5. Making people uncomfortable when they ask whether this is my first or how many kids I have.
6. Never having a living baby.
7. Losing my baby at any age after birth.
8. Being a bad mother to either of my babies.
9. Not enjoying my pregnancy and regretting missing out on it.
10. Admitting to people that I'm pregnant again this soon, especially at work, where I had to take a lot of time off.
11. People assuming that I didn't take enough time to grieve and I'm making a mistake.
12. Making Liam's life seem any less real.
13. Being able to keep up with a rambunctious child after this sobering experience.
14. Becoming a helicopter parent.
15. Loving one of my children more, or causing them to think so.
16. Losing a pregnancy early and having to deal with that loss without knowing as much about the baby as I did with Liam (and struggling to know whether it was a baby yet).
17. People not talking about Liam anymore, or forgetting to include him in our family.