Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Opposition in All Things

I have to write a post about this because I've been thinking about it a lot lately and I feel like I'd almost be ungrateful if I didn't get these thoughts out somehow.

Ever since I got married, I've really started to notice the truth in the "opposition in all things" scriptures. I say scriptures, because I can't decide which one to post. There are too many good ones! For any of you that don't know what I'm talking about, though, this one probably sums it up the best:

And it must needs be that the devil should tempt the children of men, or they could not be agents unto themselves; for if they never should have bitter they could not know the sweet— (Doctrine and Covenants 29:39)

(Only, I'm not just talking about temptation. There are some other really great scriptures that get into dealing with everyday challenges, or super-difficult-I-hope-that's-never-me challenges (like Doctrine and Covenants 122:5-9. Those are some incredible verses.), and of course, there are other great scriptures talking about opposition (2 Nephi 2:11, Job 2:10, Moses 6:55). I couldn't not mention those because they're all so good.)

So, now I feel like I need to explain what I mean by noticing opposition in all things. Because it's not like things have been bad. My life is pretty fantastic right now, and I really feel like I shouldn't complain about anything. But there have been moments of everyday challenges, because (let's face it) life doesn't get easy after you get married.

The first one that stands out to me happened on our honeymoon. As some of you might remember, I got sick on the second day of our honeymoon. And it really wasn't so bad. I just stayed in bed all day and we watched movies and Kam made me food and bought me medicine and ice cream and stuff. And I didn't have any responsibilities to worry about, so I just got to rest and I got better pretty quickly. But in the moment, I was so whiney! I felt like, "This is my only honeymoon, and it's Kam's only honeymoon, and I can't believe I'm wasting time being sick, and what did I do wrong to deserve to get sick today of all days?" And I'm not particularly proud of that.

But I'm still glad that all happened. Because being put in that situation gave me the experience, very early on in our marriage, of actually seeing Kam react to me at my worst. I knew when I married him that he would love me no matter what and that he would take care of me when I needed him, so I can't say I learned those things from being sick. But there's something to be said of actually seeing it happen. And it's nice to be able to look back on those memories now and remember how much I know he loves  me.

What made me think to write this blog just now? The other day I woke up crying and sweaty because I'd had a bad dream (not especially uncommon for me) and Kam reached over and pulled me to his side of the bed and cuddled with me a little longer than he usually would before getting ready for work. And I thought to myself, if I never had bad dreams, I would never know what it's like to have Kam comfort me after a bad dream.

So I'd like to say I'm grateful for my trials. But I don't want to lie. (I used to know someone who always said, "I don't pray for trials, because I know I'm going to get them either way." and I like her logic.) I don't like having bad dreams or being sick. But I am grateful for the experiences. And I'm most grateful for the good things that happen with the bad. And for Kam who works so hard to make those things happen. And for my Heavenly Father, who knows best how to present me with opportunities to choose to see the good. And I know this isn't something I'm great at right now, but I hope to get better at it and not be so whiney. :)

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